I grew up in Watson, Louisiana. I lived with my mom, dad and sister. While there is hardly such a thing as "normal", we appeared to be just that. But on the inside was a boiling pot of anger, rejection, and bitterness just waiting to spill over.
My dad tried so hard to provide for our family. He worked day in and day out for Frito Lay, delivering chips from 3:00am to 5:00pm. He took us on 2 vacations every year that I can remember. I completely did not understand it then, but that was his way of showing love. Providing and giving to his family. Unfortunately, all I saw was the darker side of my dad. I saw the dad that was prone to angry outbursts, the one who made fun of church, the one who talked down to his children and wife, the one who I thought only cared for material possessions. My love language was affirmation and he simply did not speak it.
When I hit my teenage years (OH LORD HERE WE GO), I learned that I could have angry outbursts as well, and I used them to fight back. I am so ashamed of the things that came out of my mouth. Things like I hate you and you're the worst dad in the world. Could you imagine being a father, working for your family the way he did, and coming home to hear that? I wouldn't be a happy man either! So it went on like that. Both of us growing so angry and bitter at each other that I would lock myself in my room when I heard him come home. 
Things finally came to a head in 2006 when my parents filed for a very ugly divorce. And heres the kicker: I was HAPPY. I was happy that my parent's marriage had failed. I was happy that I was "free". Again, I'm ashamed but it's necessary to tell you these things for the point of the story. After the divorce, I fell into a deep depression. I cut off all of my hair, stopped talking to my friends, tried to find acceptance through boyfriends, and seriously considered ending my life. But I was happy....right?Not so much. If you don't believe me, check out this picture. Don't I look like the happiest girl on the PLANET?
This is where the divine intervention begins. Somewhere along the way, God saw my pain, heard my cries and answered me. In the summer of 2008 he sent me Lee, who is now my husband. Holla! Lee, who had just given his life to Christ, completely changed my life. Together, we were discipled by his family and learned to live pure, obedient lives before God. Not that it was easy by any means. I struggled with unworthiness beyond compare. I believed that nobody could really love me unconditionally. There has to be a condition, right? Wrong! God's love had no conditions. All I had to do was love Him back.
The next year Lee and I attended a youth camp. During one of the services I felt God telling me to go see my dad. Being young in the Lord and disobedient, my immediate response was NO WAY! So I didn't go. The next year we attend the same youth camp and I heard the same call. By this point I was more mature and knew I had to do it. I had learned by then that God had forgiven me of so much. Remember the smart-mouthed, disrespectful, unappreciative heathen from two paragraphs up? God doesn't! So who was I to not forgive my earthly father when my Heavenly Father had forgiven me? With that in mind, Lee and I decided to go see him on Father's Day. I know...irony. His family prayed over us, we got in the car, and we drove to my old house. We didn't call. We didn't write. Nothing. Honestly, I don't even know if I had a plan. I mean...what do you say?
Hi! Remember me? I'm your daughter that hasn't spoken to you in FOUR YEARS and completely erased you from my life. How are ya, Pops?
I'm not sure that would have gone over well. So we get to the house with no plan, lots of fears, and a bag of candy for good measure. We walked to the door as I marveled at how little had changed. We knocked and waited. We saw him come to the door, peek out of the blinds, and walk away. We waited a few seconds and....nothing. I thought God, surely you didn't lead us all this way to be rejected? A few seconds later a woman comes to the door, peeks out and walks away. I might note that my heart was about to EXPLODE at this point. Then finally, he came back to the door and opens it.
For a second I just stared. I couldn't believe it was happening...standing in front of me was the person that I spent a majority of the last few years trying to forget about. So...in classic awkward-Julie fashion I say something like Hey Daddy, How are ya? He looks at me, said something that I can't remember, and I introduced him to Lee. Then he invited us in! My heart was soaring!
We spent the next hour or so exchanging small talk, catching up, meeting my step-mom, and trying to believe that this was actually taking place. I learned that he had found the Lord as well and was playing piano at a church in Denham! When we were getting ready to leave, I asked Lee to wait for me in the car. When he left,I looked at my dad and asked his forgiveness for every foul thing I had said to him in the past. I was so ashamed. Long story short, he forgave me and we embraced. When I got back in the car I looked at Lee and started laughing of all things! One might think that I would have broken down into tears or something, but no. I was SO FULL of joy. And I know it was because I had been obedient to what God had asked of me.
I was absolutely floored. This is where the tears came. I called him a few days after Christmas and just cried. I told him how happy I was that God had brought us back together and how I didn't deserve such an amazing gift. I can' t even express the joy I felt. I finally realized that he did love me. He did care about me and my dreams. He did forgive me for everything I had done, even when I didn't deserve it. And all I could say was thank you.
Isn't that just like our Heavenly Father? We go astray, do things that don't honor Him, then come back and stand in amazement that he would take us back?
It's amazing.
So that is why I honor God with my business. Every time I hold my camera, I am reminded of the miracle that occurred in my life. My sole ambition is to spread the love that God has so abundantly given me to everyone I work with. Yes I love photography, but this is more than that. This is more than myself. And I can't wait to see what God has in store for me next.
It's all for Him,
Julianne
